how i delight in serene melancholy.

24/09/25. finally finished renovating my home page! just have to do the others now. for my diary page, im thinking of a sort of notebook theme since its a diary. i actually kind of have some experience with notebook themes (because of my experience with everskies), so i think i already have an idea of what i want it to look like. for now, no one look at ANY of my other pages except my home page because everything else is currently under renovation so they look horrendous. im putting off renovating them rn actually cus i have hw...but i dont wanna do it...but i dont wanna do anything else either. ugh. i miss my friends from my old school sm:(

23/09/25. classes suspended again...also i really wanna change the layout for my other pages cus i think this layouts getting a bit repetitive and boring to look at. also my left eye's lowk inflamed so thats fun! its been a few hours now since i started renovating my whole profile, and ive only semi-finished my home page:( codings hard. still dont know what to put in that awkward blank space in the lower right corner, any ideas?

22/09/25. finished up the diary section! only have to work on the shrines section now and add my other socials to my "about me" page maybe. please please please ignore how the text here shows up over the polaroid of ellie when you hover over it...idk how to fix it:( prob gonna have to edit the charm on the upper right corner of the box as well cus the little white thing on the top looks weird, also might add autoplay music sometime soon cus i saw it on other profiles and it looks so cool but i think its gonna be hard to code it. i dont know what to put in the awkward blank space on the left side of the navigation buttons either...any ideas?? reminder that this section is literally just gonna be a place for me to yap about random stuff so dont expect anything tewww important. classes were suspended today, which im very happy about because i had a bunch of tests and quizzes today!! but i studied for math last night and now its gone to waste:(( i also really wanted to see her (lets call herr..badminton) today but wtv. she doesnt even know me and i have the fattest crush on her ever its so embarassing. but honestly, i think my brains just gaslighting me into liking her because i need motivation to go to school...and its lowk working so W brain ig. its also helped me get my mind of my old crush (lets call her jan) who i was OBSESSED w for like 6 months. i kinda miss her sometimes (for context, i transferred to another school this school year and her and my other friends stayed at my old school so im literally so lonely here), we were kind of friends for like 3 weeks..??? i also kinda think she liked me around the same time i liked her tbh. and then she started ignoring me. ummm..okay. and then she started giving me mixed signals, like one day she'd completey ignore me and then the next she'd be around me the whole day. like pick a side?? just had to remind myself, this is just highschool. i wont remember her in a few years. maybe. idk. i remember everyone, its actually kinda annoying cus that means that i cant forget about stuff that i want to. i lowk just realized how long this is, but then i remembered that prob no ones gonna read this and its just me and my never-ending thoughts. back to me transferring, i lowk never realized how peaceful it is having no friends. like yeah, i dont have anyone to talk to and i fear group projects like the plague, but at the same time, its quiet. i get to be alone and theres no one bothering me. dont get me wrong, i love my friends from my old school! i just wish that they'd leave me alone sometimes cus my social battery just dies randomly and i dont feel like talking. ik i should probably make new friends, but i dont really want to because i dont really like anyone in my class. and i dont want to befriend someone that i dont actually like cus that happened twice back in my old school and i was MISERABLE every single day. i literally cant wait for this school year to be over so that i can get a new section.